3 years

It's hard to believe it's been three years since we said hello and goodbye to our first born daughter, Weslee.. if you've followed my blog you know our story.  For those that are new I'll give a brief overview: Ben and I tried to get pregnant for six months when we finally got a positive pregnancy test; we were elated!!  We went in at 8 weeks and heard a strong heart beat.. at this appointment they also did an ultrasound.  We went in again at 12 weeks and 16 weeks to hear a beautiful heartbeat!!  We were so excited about our 20 week appointment and finding out the sex of the baby.  During the ultrasound we found out we were having a girl but the tech continued to look at the scan for what seemed like forever.. to make matters worse it was a student doing the ultrasound.. bless her heart, I don't think she had any idea what she was looking at.  She was very professional as she stepped aside to let the seasoned tech continue to scan.  I knew something wasn't right when the doctor came in and stood on the opposite side of the scanner.  He then put his hand on my leg which is a terrible feeling.. almost like an I'm sorry without saying anything.  I asked him if he would talk out loud and he asked if I would give him a minute.  After a short time (again felt like forever) he said something is not right, the head is not formed.. I'll meet you in my office to talk.  A lot was said but long story short, our daughter was anencephalic.  Being medical, I started thinking of all the flaps that could be done, how we could "fix" this.  I was finally told that she would not live outside of my body, zero percent.  We saw a specialist the next day that confirmed the diagnosis.. by this time I had googled anencephalic and learned exactly what it was.. there are different degrees of this diagnosis and Weslee's was an extreme case.  Our daughter, who we named Weslee Faith Mizell was stillborn on October 24, 2009.  Nothing could have prepared us for the emotions that came with going through natural childbirth for the first time and leaving the hospital empty handed.  We were surrounded by our families throughout the whole process which was a huge comfort.  It was a bittersweet day and still feels as real today as it did three years ago!!  I try to use our story as a testimony to witness to others.. I feel we are a success story, Ben and I kept our faith and love each other more today than we did when we said I do in 2007. 

We did try to get pregnant again and went through hell.. I don't have the energy to go through those years but we now have our miracle baby that specialists said we would never have on our own..

I'm sitting here watching our Charlee (boogie as I call her) sleep and am thanking God for his perfect plan.  We love and cherish her more than she'll ever know. 

October 24 will always be Weslee's day, we are so proud to talk openly about her.. we will forever cherish the few hours we got to spend with her physical body. 

God is good

 Finally, a positive pregnancy test!!

 Around 20 weeks..

 This is the outfit my sister dressed Weslee in once she was born..

 This is Weslee's wall in our home, we can't wait to tell Charlee about her big sister!!

 Holding her for the first time..

 the tiny hat that she wore..

 Ben and I checking out every little thing about her..

 her perfect foot

 Ben holding Weslee for the first time..

 

These are some of the memories from that day in pictures.. we have so many that to some would be too much but to us are pure bliss!!

 

life.

So much has happened in the 8 weeks since we've had Charlee.. 8 weeks, I can't believe it's already been two months.  I said I would start blogging again but you can see how that's gone.  I underestimated how tired I would be being a full time mom and having a full time job.  I wouldn't have it any other way.. ok if I could stay at home I totally would but we're not at a place in our lives where I can do that.  Thankfully Ben works three 12 hour shifts which leaves four days a week where he can keep her.  I'm beyond thankful he's willing and able to do this, not many men would.. Charlee is an amazing baby, she whimpers when she's hungry or needs to be changed and that's it.  She smiles and coos constantly, it melts our hearts!!  She's changed so much in appearance, we still don't know who she looks like but she definitely has some chunky cheeks that are so fun to smooch!! 
I still find myself looking at her and pinching myself that she's ours, she's here, and she's healthy.. I will never forget where we started, it makes us appreciate her so much more!! 

The princess is waking up so here are a few pictures that were taken a week or so after she was born.. (Rachel Vanhook took these)

 

We are living the dream!!

8-26-12

Here is a recap in pictures of Charlee's arrival into the world!!

My water broke at home, in bed (thankfully) around 0500 on Sunday, August 26 2012.  I showered, we made sure we had everything we thought we needed, took a few pictures, and headed to the hospital. 

They confirmed my water had broken and immediately got me hooked up to monitors.. hearing her heartbeat was music to our ears.  I must admit, my sis & I have watched a baby story for years and I've always dreamed of being that woman hooked up to everything.. I actually asked the nurse to turn the volume up so I could hear her heartbeat!!

 My sister, Amber/auntie Am & mom Susan/nonny were the first to arrive - my biggest fans!!

My sister-in-law Katherine/auntie KK & her husband Trent/uncle Crow followed soon after :)

My brother Wes/beesh, and his fiance` Hannah/hanny.. (notice my brothers shirt in this picture, there's a story I'll tell later about this)

 brother & sisters - Amber and I are 5 years apart, Wes and I are three.. I'm the middle child

bro & sis, Kat & Ben

Charlee's aunties who have already spoiled her and love her more than words can express!!

My supportive in-laws, this is their first grandchild :) Mary Ann/gammy & Phil/papa

Amber never left my side once arriving at the hospital, it was such a neat experience going through childbirth with her literally by my side.

The absolute, hands down best nurse & CRNA out there, Buffy & Rose!!

Laci and Megan (my two oldest nieces) came up after school, they had on their "I'm the BIG cousin!" shirts and were beyond excited to meet Charlee!!

my crazy brother-in-law Brad

I'm at a 10, time to push!!  My epidural was amazing, we were all so surprised I progressed so quickly and that it was time to push.. I was feeling amazing!!

No going back....

contractions - that I didn't feel :)

all ready for miss CK!!

is this really happening to me?!!

all we need is a baby now....

SHE'S HERE!!

looking back the doctor probably thought we were crazy because my sis, Ben, and I were laughing and joking while I was pushing.. mainly because I couldn't feel anything and I had no idea how I was pushing or even if I was.  Once they put her on my chest the last 4 years of trying to have a healthy baby came flooding out..

Earlier in the morning we all said what we thought she would weigh... everyone said over 7 lbs but Wes, he guessed 6 lbs 9 oz.. I thought she'd weigh around 7 lbs.  So when they told us she was 6 lbs 2 oz we were all surprised!!   I was thankful afterwards because I did have to have an episiotomy, stage 2.  I can't imagine if she were bigger, yikes!!

proud mommy & daddy!!

so in love!!

she's here & she's perfect!!

I have so many pictures from this day.. my sis did an amazing job documenting for us!!  I'll continue the posts between feedings and loving on our Charlee!!

It was an amazing day & experience!!

I'm back.... we're back!!

I've debated on whether or not to continue this blog for a while now.. I have multiple reasons for not wanting to update but with many people asking I've decided to start back.  The last post was from April so I've got a lot of catching up to do.

I realize many people read my blog because they can relate to our infertility story, know us personally, are nosey :), genuinely care, etc... so much has happened recently that I want to document.  Our nieces started back to school, Laci in the third grade and Megan started kindergarten.  They are both loving it and we couldn't be more happy for them!!  Ben and I are still working and loving our jobs!!  The most exciting news for those that don't know me personally is that we welcomed OUR DAUGHTER, CHARLEE KATE MIZELL into the world on August 26!!  (almost two weeks ago)

Her story..... my history is far too extensive to recap but it involves multiple miscarriages, a stillborn birth @ 20 weeks, and in vitro fertilization X2 rounds.  For multiple reasons we quit going to our fertility clinic in September of last year.  My OB doctor put me on 50mg (smallest dose) of Clomid to take each month.  I have been on this before in the past with no success.  It's an inexpensive drug and you only take it for 5-7 days.. we figured it couldn't hurt.  In December, a few days after Christmas we were elated and terrified to find out that I was pregnant!!  I can't say enough good things about my OB doctor.. he saw us at 5 weeks and confirmed we were indeed pregnant & there was a heartbeat.  He saw me literally every week after that until 20 weeks.  Then we stretched it out to every two weeks :)  We had a little scare around week 14 with some bleeding.. my placenta was not in the right place but by week 20 it had resolved.  We found out around week 18 that our baby was a girl, we were shocked and excited!!  I also had an in depth ultrasound read by a radiologist at 20 weeks to confirm our daughter was healthy.  If this was my first pregnancy it would have been picture perfect, we're forever thankful!!  At 30 weeks big we went on our annual Destin, FL trip with my family.  I have never been more proud to wear my bikini :) Yes, I am one of those people!!  Wearing a one piece or tankini was like a wet sock laying on my belly, I couldn't handle it!!  I figure if people didn't like it or got offended they could look the other way.  It took us a while to decide on her name.. we had a boys name picked & ready but a girl was much harder.  We call her Charlee but her full name is Charlee Kate Mizell.  Charlee is after Ben's uncle Charles that died far too early in an accident a few years ago.  He was a brilliant and loving man from all the stories I've heard.  Kate isn't after anyone or anything specific, we just thought it was cute. 

The birth story..... we were scheduled to be induced on August 28, I would have been 39 weeks and 3 days.  The reason for inducing me was because I was on Heparin shots twice a day and needed to be off of them so I could get my epidural..  (Heparin thins your blood and can cause other issues with delivery) On August 26 (Sunday) around 0530 I woke up to Ben's alarm and him getting up for work.. at that time I noticed "fluid" coming out.. I knew I didn't pee on myself because I had just gotten up to go to the bathroom a hour before.  I laid there for a minute thinking, surely not!!  I was feeling great, no contractions or pain.. I told Ben to go on to work and I'd see what happened.. about that time I was standing in the bathroom when a flood of fluid came out, my water had officially broken!!  I wasn't sure what to do at this point because I still felt great.  I called the OB floor at the hospital and they told me to come in ASAP.. of course I had to shower and shave then we could go :) Ben called his work and then started rushing me, he was a little nervous and I was cool as a cucumber.  We.. I had to take some last minute pictures with my ever growing belly, it hit me that she was about to be here.  We got checked in at the hospital and they confirmed it was amniotic fluid and I was in labor.  I was dilated to 1cm which was more than I was the Monday before.  I still was feeling great, just leaking which was disturbing!!  I had taken my Heparin the night before so the nurse was a little worried about me being able to get my epidural.  There was some problems with my labs which was a bit scary because of what they were thinking.  No need for details because it ended up being the machine in the lab that caused the error.  They drew my blood two more times to confirm it was normal.  The nurse said to me, "if you don't get your epidural I'll help you breathe through it".... speaking of the nurse, I had the best one out there!!  Once my labs were straightened out I was able to get my epidural around 10, at this point I was dilated to 2cm.  She checked me again @ between 11-12 I think and I was 4cm.  She came back in around 2 I think and I was at a 10 and ready to push.  We were so shocked at how fast I progressed.  I pushed a few times and had to stop to wait on the doctor.. I ended up pushing for about 15 minutes and she was here!!  Charlee Kate Mizell was born on August 26 @ 2:54 weighing 6 lbs 2 oz and was 20" long.. she is long and lean!!  It all happened so fast that I remember thinking, I'm not ready for this to be over with!!  I'm so thankful for such an amazing birth experience.  I can't wait to do it again... one day!! 

I had some amazing showers that I want to blog about but for now I'm going to love on Charlee and watch college football.  She came at my favorite time of the year.. just waiting for cooler weather, mums, & fall scents!!

If I left out any details or you have any specific questions I'm an open book.. for those struggling with infertility remember this: I was told by the "fertility specialists" that I would never be able to get pregnant on my own.  God is bigger than the doctors, Charlee is proof :)

 Morning my water broke..

our #1 baby!!

 proud daddy at her first doctors appointment!!

does it get any sweeter??

 after her bath, which she loves!!

long girl!!

 first of many bows in her future I'm afraid...

 

There are a few pictures for now... you can imagine we have taken many but I don't want to photo bomb you all at once :)  I'll put pics from her delivery and showers soon!!

 

Thank you to those who have continued to pray for us over the years.. some of you have been on this journey with us from our first positive pregnancy.  God works in mysterious ways and we're forever grateful to Him for His perfect timing and plan.

 

WE ARE BLESSED!!

WOW

Earlier this year Laci, our oldest niece starting asking questions about her salvation and what it means to be a Christian.  She's grown up in the church and been surrounded by wonderful Sunday School teachers, Wednesday night classes, choirs, Christian family members, and friends.  She is smart as a whip and understands so much at such a young age.. The next step in her walk is to be baptized which is such a neat experience.  We are amazed daily by her genuine need to learn and walk the walk of a Christian. 

Here are a few pictures from the day she went in front of the church to make her decision public...

 Amber, Laci, & Brad

Dad, aka poppy, aka pastor Rick - introducing Laci and the others that made decisions on this day!!

 after church everyone is welcome and encouraged to love on the ones who made decisions

this picture is particularly neat, it's Laci's school principal loving on her and giving her encouraging words!!

 Uncle Wes and Brynn supporting big bird

Nonny (my mom) & Hanny - can you tell they're proud!!

 Laci Kyle Bohannan

Brynn, Amber, Laci, & Nonny

 Laci and her Nonny

Auntie & her big bird

Laci - your uncle Benny and I love you soo much!!  I know we tell you all the time how proud we are of you but this decision to trust Jesus and make him boss of your life is the best decision you'll ever make!!  Your heart is pure and your light shines for all to see.. you are always kind to others and willing to help.  We are so proud of you Laci Bird and can't wait to see what God has in store for you!!