Dixie Darlins

It's that time of year again, Laci is playing softball!! It's amazing watching the difference a year makes and how much the girls actually pick up the game.. Laci is playing first base and catching and making a lot of outs!! She's also slugging the ball like crazy!! They play a few games a week and I look forward every time to watching her!! Megan is in a stage where she has to be in the mood to get her picture taken and on this day she wasn't having it!! So here are a couple of Laci and Brynn!!!

boooooooorrrrrrrrriiiinggggggg!!

When my brother Wesley would be bored growing up he would yell at the top of his lungs "BOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!" It's something we all do occasionally to make us laugh!! Of course this long word was followed by my mom threatening to put a broom in his hand!! I haven't blogged anything with substance in quite some time.. truth is, not much has gone on to blog about?!! I have been working longer hours than ever, which is good for business!! Ben is neck high with school, studying, and working when he can. All of those things mixed with fertility treatments = one boring/tired couple!! I hope one day soon to be able to write a happily ever after post but for now this is our reality. I wouldn't trade it for anything!! Of course if I could snap my fingers and be pregnant with a healthy baby I would, let's be honest. But for whatever reason that's not where we're at right now. Since it's just Ben and I (plus Avery who is so laid back it's like she's not here) we have extra time to love on our nieces!! If you've read my blog at all you know how special they are to us. Amber told me a few weeks ago that when the big girls pray at night they pray for auntie to have a baby. Megan prayed a specific prayer not long ago that went something like this... "I pray for auntie to have a baby and for it not to go to Heaven." How pure, sweet, & innocent!!! Of course I got a knot in my throat when Amber told me this for many reasons.. then it hit me that at 4 years old we're able to teach Megan (& Laci at 6) about Jesus and Heaven. I can't find many positives about losing a baby/child/loved one but if our story can change a life, or bring someone to know Jesus than it's worth it. That's a tough pill to swallow but we believe it wholeheartedly!!
Some close friends and family know the details of what we're going through with our infertility journey, others just know we're struggling. I promise one day to pour my heart out with this journey!! For now I ask that you pray.. pray for patience, courage, strength, FAITH, and for Gods will to be done in our lives.

Happy (belated) Birthday Ben!!

Monday, March 21 Ben turned 31!! Sadly he's so busy with school and I'm working long hours that we didn't do much to celebrate. Monday when I finally got home my parents grilled out for us. Wednesday night we met his parents, sister & brother-in-law at the Country Club for pasta night, yumm!! It seems the older you get the less you want to celebrate :) Instead of asking for specific presents you ask for money.. (to put towards bill in our case)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Benny, Avery and I love you so much and we hope you know how much you mean to us!!

Infertility

I was looking back through some of my posts and realized I haven't updated on our baby making status, or lack there of... Ben and I continue to struggle with infertility. We knew before getting pregnant with Weslee something wasn't quite right. It took six months with her and the second go around we got pregnant right after a surgery when my "pipes" were clean. Since my miscarriage this past November we've continued to try... fast forward to today & we're still trying!! Infertility is something I can't describe in words. Unless you've been there you can't truly understand the darkness that comes with it. We have so many people that pray for us on a daily basis and let us know they're thinking of us. I can't say enough how much this means to me, I will get random texts or e-mails from people saying they prayed for me that day. It's amazing how they always come just when I need them!! I have been very open with our journey since getting pregnant with Weslee. We're not at a place where we want to talk about what we're facing now. I will be very open with our journey once we get to where we're trying to go. For now, please pray that we make the right decisions, for the doctors guidance, our peace of mind, and for Gods will to be done in our lives.

Mississippi weekend!!

Last weekend my mom, dad, Hannah (Wesley's girlfriend) and myself got to take a road trip to Starkville, Mississippi to watch Wes and his team play!! It was a tournament with Iowa and Mississippi State. They were calling for rain all weekend so we packed sweat shirts and jeans.. what we weren't prepared for was how could it was!! Friday was just windy but Saturday it was rainy, windy, & cold!! We definitely didn't' have enough clothes.. Sunday before the games we ran around town (which is very small) to look for any type of warm clothing. We found scarves and gloves on a sale rack at a Dollar General. We stayed in the same hotel as the team so we were able to spend a lot of time with Wes before and after the games!! It was such a wonderful weekend even though the weather was crazy!!

Mississippi State has a unique field and it was neat to play there!!


Wes and Hanny


Hanny and I


mom dad & myself trying to stay dry & warm


The 3 of us one night eating out


This would be from Sunday's double header games, possibly the coldest of the games!!


FREEZING!!! Yes, I had on a rain jacket with ear warmers on.. it was so windy I did whatever I could to stay warm!!


brrrr


the field


Wes doing what he does, pitching!!






It was a great weekend, it's always so refreshing to see Wes!! He's had a long journey and we're so proud of what all he's overcome!! Their official season began last night and they won, they also won today so they're starting out on a great start!! I look forward to many more road trips and cheering for the Georgia State Panthers and #34!!

Love you uncle Wes, we're so proud of you!!

Valentine's Day 2011

Ben and I have never been huge fans of Valentine's Day.. to both of us it's just another day but one you're supposed to do something nice for your significant other. We both believe every day should be special.. giving me something on the one day you're supposed to doesn't seem special.. With all of that said I came home on Valentine's Day from working a long day to have dinner cooked and ready when I walked in!! This isn't unlike Ben but it was a surprise and I was very grateful!!

Also, a few days ago I came home from yet another long day of dealing with patients to find that Ben dusted and vacuumed!!!! He is always willing to help when I'm cleaning but I'm so OCD I'd rather do it myself.. He doesn't complain :) so anytime I come home to find something done without me asking is so refreshing!!

I love my husband and all he does for our family!!

more medicine = more money!!

I am happy to announce that my husband and I are both on the down hill slide.. his antibiotic plus OTC medicines seem to be working!! I am now on a stronger antibiotic myself and feeling 10X better!! When it rains it pours I swear.. first Avery gets a bladder infection, I have to go to the doctor (which never happens) get a chest x-ray, & Ben gets strep throat!! (have I mentioned that each of the above costs money)

When Ben and I bought our house I was working where I am now and he had a good business/marketing job. We both had nice vehicles we were proud to drive and lived well. That comfort of living changed when Ben lost his job a few years ago.. not only did he lose his job but we had to make some major life decisions about our future. Ben was never truly happy in any of his business/marketing type jobs. His major going into the U of A @ Fayetteville was pre-med.. he said once he got his syllabus, at age 18 he quickly changed that major!! Looking back he's kicking himself for not sticking with it because he would of excelled!! After much soul searching and talk with family he decided to take a job at the ER as a tech.. Nursing school was an option on the table for him.. We figured being a tech would be a great indicator if it was for him or not.. He absolutely LOVED it; poop, throw up, mean doctors/nurses, wonderful doctors/nurses, crazy patients, etc!! So he signed up and started nursing school.. Since he didn't have many pre requisites required for RN school it made more sense for him to go through LPN school then fast track for a year to get his RN. Since his ACT was more than 10 years old he had to retake that.. he was surprised to make higher at age 30 than he did right out of high school. Since he did do so well he was able to take pre-req's along with LPN school. He graduated last June and has worked in the ER as a LPN since.. He started RN school in January and just finished the first go around with a 92%!! He will graduate in December and continue working in the ER or possibly the ICU.. He amazes me with every test or paperwork that has to be done for school. He takes great pride in his work and wants to do his best!! All that to say that since he's been in school our comfortable way of living took a hit.. We found out we were pregnant with Weslee during this transition as well. We both sold our cars and downsized to something that made more sense for our new financial situation. Ben goes to school Tuesday-Friday and works 12 hours shifts on Saturday and Sunday. Monday being his only day to sleep in and relax.. which he ends up using to study extra!! We are so proud of our house and it's a great home to start a family in. We decided we wanted to live scarcely to be able to keep our home. Our church is doing Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, which is a great guide. Unfortunately with Ben's school/work schedule we were not able to commit to a class. I do have the Cd's and I am looking forward to listening and learning how to be good stewards of our money. We are on a good routine of knowing when to expect our bills and how much they will be, groceries, etc... it's when someone gets sick, needs medicine, car breaks down, trying to have a baby, vet bills, etc. that it stings. So like I said above, when it rains it pours!! I tell any one who asks, it's a means to an end!! There is light at the end of the tunnel and the hard work both Ben and I put in will pay off!!
You may be thinking, if you're living so tightly why in the world would you want to bring a baby into this world?? GREAT QUESTION.. We know that we can and will make it work.. We know God will see us through whatever trials we may face - good or bad!!

I know it could be so much worse.. we've been at much lower points in our lives but through it all we've come out stronger on the other side!! We're enjoying this time in our lives with each other and new beginnings, whatever those may be....