Memorial Service

I always enjoy getting mail addressed to me that I'm not expecting.. a few days ago I received something addressed to me from Baptist Health. The following is what I read...

SHARE MEMORIAL SERVICE

Dear Parents,

You are invited to join us Sunday, October 24, 2010, at 3:00 pm for a memorial service held in remembrance of those babies who have died due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillborn, or a neonatal death.

Nothing could of prepared me for this particular piece of mail.. Not only did it bring raw emotions to the surface but the day of the memorial will be exactly one year to the day I delivered Weslee.. what are the odds??

On this day it will be a time to remember, to name, and to honor the children with prayers, music, and fellowship. There will be a balloon release and refreshments.. They welcome friends and family.



I realize I will have reminders of our first born for the rest of my life.. Yes I am still saddened, hurt, some days angry and selfish that Weslee is not here with us. At the same time I am grateful to God that he allowed us to get pregnant, that we were blessed with a baby girl, and that she's in a better place. I believe throughout every situation in life God is trying to teach us something.. I've said many times that there are many days I have to search for the positives or what God is trying to show me but they're there.. it may not be what I have in mind but it's God's will and I trust in that.

Ben and I will forever be Weslee's parents and tell her story.. we're embracing each day we have and looking forward to the future. We still have many blank pages in our future to fill up!!

It means the world to me that there are SHARE counselors that put together memorial services for parents like us. I think of my daughter every day and her memory will always be fresh.. it seems the world keeps going all around us and her memory slips away from others.. of course this is natural and normal, how many times have I walked passed someone or talked about myself instead of thinking of others.. I obviously have a new appreciation for pregnancy and infant loss. It's with FAITH, counselors, friends & family that help make each brighter.

more reminders..

Ben is working 12 hours today so I've had the day to myself... well, Avery (our English Mastiff) has given me company. We've watched a lot of TV, done laundry, took a nap on the couch, went to sonic of course, & finally took a shower. I got on facebook this afternoon & noticed a friend of mine who's due the same time Weslee was. She had put up her baby shower pictures, which were precious!! It's another reminder of what I wont get to do for our daughter. I enjoyed looking @ the pictures and didn't think much of it @ the time... for some reason, the past hour I can't get Weslee off my mind. Of course I'm being selfish and always dreamed of my very own baby shower!! I have to remind myself that one day that will be me in the pictures... Knowing that right now I should be planning Weslee's many baby showers is hard to stomach. Ben was telling me the other night how he thinks about where we would be in this pregnancy. I've got such a great support system in a husband, family, & friends. It never fails that someone tells me they're still thinking about us.. I can't say enough how much that means!! I ask that you please continue to pray for us in the coming months as Weslee's due date approaches. I have to remind myself not to be sad.... Weslee is in a far better place than we are where there are no tears, no sadness; pure BLISS!! How I long to hold her again, kiss her sweet face, watch her daddy examine every square inch of her body, and be together as a family!! As much as my heart breaks that she's not here with us, I am so proud to be her mommy and tell her story!!

Baby M has a name!!!

We've decided to name our daughter Weslee Faith Mizell... Faith is only appropriate @ a time like this, Weslee of course is after my brother. We are eager for our appointment with the specialist today @ 2:30. We're hoping and praying for answers and guidance as to what our next move should be... We are so encouraged by the love and support you've already shown!!

Please also take time to pray for the Nail family, they are dealing with a sick daughter and I can't imagine what they're going through..

So many hurts it seems, but we serve a great God and I am @ peace with that!!

With so much love,
Sarah & Weslee!! (oh how I love saying her name)