I've realized that every day comes with a new emotion for me.. I feel that I've been blessed with such a sweet peace about Weslee not being here. I must admit that I wish she was here with us more than anything!! I want to hold her, see who she looks like, all her firsts!! My grandmother asked my mom the other day if she thought Weslee wanted to be with us? To that I answer, of course not, she's in Heaven!!!!
Today while I was waiting for one of our cases to start I was sitting in the lounge like I do everyday.. A nurse, who I do know well walked in and started talking (loud) to the other nurses/scrub techs in the room. She found out she was pregnant a few weeks ago with her third child. I had heard the news earlier and was thrilled for her. I hadn't had a chance to talk to her about it yet... she continued to answer a lot of questions the girls had. She kept saying things like, "it was a total surprise, we weren't trying, I didn't want another one..." I know I'm more sensitive than most when it comes to getting pregnant, kids, etc. but, I wanted to yell out, BE SOO THANKFUL this has happened, what a miracle!! I can say that from a broken heart.. Until you've dealt with longing to be pregnant, the loss of a child, miscarriage, etc. you can't fully understand.. Please if you are pregnant or have children be careful what you say to friends & even more importantly strangers. While you're complaining of gaining weight, a growing belly, know that somewhere there's somebody longing for those things..(If she knew it upset me today she would be heartbroken, that was not her intention) My intentions are not for sympathy they're just words of wisdom if you will.. Ben and I know God has a special plan for us and our future!!
Until then... I have some very exciting news!! My best friend and sister, Amber is 11 weeks pregnant!!!! Some of you may not know or remember but at the end of last year she suffered a miscarriage which was devestating to us all. My mom jokingly said a few months ago that we just need a baby in the family!! The first thing people say to Amber when they hear she's pregnant is, "how's Sarah or is she mad?" Although I appreciate you thinking about me please know that this is a special time for her!! I told her to tell people that "Sarah is my #1 fan and couldn't be more excited about spoiling another niece or nephew!!" Amber, please enjoy this pregnancy, embrace it and don't worry about what anyone thinks!! Have I mentioned how proud I am to be Auntie again in Novemebr!!!