Sunday, November 28, 2010

Brynn Bradley Bohannan

I must apologize for not putting pictures of Brynn up yet.. I've spent far too much time holding and loving on Brynn and her big sisters!! Amber, Brynn, & her whole family are doing great!! Setting into a family of 5 beautifully!! I stole these pics off of Amber's blog because I took all the pictures with her camera..

sleeping beauty!!

Bohannan family of 5 - Brad's going to have his work cut out for him!!

Checking everything out!!

Brynn arriving has been the best medicine for my heart.. nothing can take the place of our Weslee or our most recent loss but boy has she got auntie smiling again!!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Brynn decided to make her arrival into the world a day early.. Amber was having some issues that she went in to get checked out Monday morning. They had her walk around for a few hours and when they checked her again she was making progress so they kept her!!!!!!!!!! Fluids, pit, water breaking, Stadol, epidural, & lot's of pressure = a beautiful 6'10, 18 1/2" long beautiful, healthy baby girl!!!!! I am ashamed to say that I have no pictures to put on here right now.. I have some on my phone but have no idea how to get them from there to my computer?!! I was in charge of photography throughout the day and labor but I was using Amber's camera.. so I promise soon I will get copies of those pics or have Ben upload the pics off my phone. I must admit, she is beautiful... not sure who she looks like?? She has tiny features just like her daddy!! Her big sisters are in love and we can't wait to show her off!!

(she was born @ 5:59pm on Monday, Nov 22 - Amber is doing wonderful as well)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Due Date!!

I can hardly contain my excitement about Tuesday, November 23 because...... my #3 niece, Brynn Bradley Bohannan will be here!!!! It's been a long couple of years for our family personally.. after losing Weslee and Amber having a miscarriage, we joked (warped humor I know) that we just need a baby!!! Well, our desires are coming true and we couldn't be more excited!! Of course Brynn could decide to come any time between now and Tuesday (which Amber would LOVE) but we're elated there's an end in sight!! I'll be the proud, annoying auntie in the delivery room with the camera!! Brynn, you're already loved more than you know and you've got an entourage of people praying for you and your safe and swift arrival!!

*Please take a second and pray for my sister & Brynn and their safety!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Thank you all...

Thank you for your encouraging comments and prayers, Ben and I appreciate them more than you know!! We both went back to work this week and did well considering.. we're trying to get back to life as "normal." We've been asked many questions following the loss of this baby but the main one I've received is, "was this the first time you were to hear the heartbeat?" We've known we were pregnant since very early on.. we had been seeing and hearing the baby's heartbeat since week 5. As of my 12 week (12 w, 6 d) appointment the baby was moving like crazy with a heartbeat in the 170's!! So you can imagine the shock by all when I went in around what I thought was 13-14 weeks to see nothing.. (When a baby's heart stops beating it shrinks in size which was why I measured 12 weeks, 4 days at that appointment.) There is no correlation between what happened with Weslee and this baby.. for whatever reason this baby's heart just stopped beating?? After surgery the doctor was very reassuring to my family that everything looked perfect!! Meaning, everything was attached properly.. that fact is a positive but it's also very puzzling?! We were encouraged to start trying right away, that is if and when we're ready.. I keep telling myself how fortunate we are that we could even get pregnant.. for a while we were starting to wonder. We're trying not to let the devil get the best of us and stay positive!! We're relatively young, healthy, and have no known predisposed risks.. like our doctor put it, we just had some bad luck?! I was reminded yesterday by a friend that has lost an infant that these babies were never ours!! Such a strong point, I do believe this but I'm still human and am extremely selfish in wanting these precious gifts!! Thank you again for your continued prayers and I'll be updating with what God is doing in our lives...

Sunday, November 14, 2010

another chapter to our book...

I've been going over and over in my head how to write this post.. for four days actually. There's really no easy way to put it, so here it is...

I've talked about how awesome my OB clinic and his staff are!! Any time I have a question or concern they call me back within minutes and offer to get me in for reassurance.. this past Thursday was just like any other day, I had a question which the nurse assured me was normal. A few hours later she called back & said they had a cancellation and for me to come in.. (not because she was concerned but because I work in the same building and they treat me like a celebrity) No one knew I was going to see the doctor but the girls and doctor I work with.. I was actually hoping he could find out what we were having so I could surprise Ben with a blue or pink onsie on my way home.. After laughing with the nurse and doctor about how paranoid I was they proceeded with the ultrasound.. after a few silent seconds (which seemed like hours) I finally looked up @ the ceiling and softly said, there's no heartbeat. The doctor was silent for another second and answered, "I don't see one." He continued to look, at every angle possible and the baby was not moving and there was no heartbeat in the chest cavity. To say the doctor was shocked is an understatement, he was at a loss for words.. I found myself laying on that cold table, alone having de ja vu of this time a year ago. The worst part of the whole ordeal was having to call Ben and our families and completely blindsiding them with the news. Since I was between 13-14 weeks along I had to have a D & E on Friday.. Physically I feel good, mild cramping but nothing like I anticipated, I plan on going back to work tomorrow. Ben and I spent last night pouring our hearts out to each other for the first time since finding out our second babies fate on Thursday afternoon.. Our doctor assured us that Weslee and this baby passing away had nothing to do with each other, his exact words were, "this sucks and it's just bad luck." That sounds unsympathetic but it's so true.. many people have miscarriages but only 5% have them in their second trimesters.. there's no known cause, again we have no answers.. we were told that the odds of this happening again are low and we were encouraged to go for it again!! All Ben and I can do is try to stay positive and look to the future... At first I said, shouted actually, I can't do this again, I don't want to do this again.. but that's something that I will pray about and put in Gods hands. I still have my faith and know that God has a perfect plan for us all!! Just like last time we've already been surrounded by wonderful support, family, friends, & familiar stories to let us know we're not alone... please pray that Ben and I can be strong in our faith and make the right decisions as we move forward with our family.

On a positive note, my sister should be delivering Brynn (niece #3) any time, at the latest early next week!! One of the first things I told my doctor once finding out about this baby was, it's okay I've got a new niece coming any time!! Random what thoughts pop into your head in the midst of tragedy.. I love my sister and her family, those girls are a great healing for me, when I see them I see hope, life, innocence, and pure love!! Megan actually said when they told her auntie's baby was "sick" again that... "ohh so it'll be in Heaven with baby Weslee." So true Megan, so true!!

Monday, November 8, 2010

26 years old??!

On November 7 I celebrated my 26th birthday, where have the years gone?? When people ask me my age I automatically want to say 21.. I keep having to ask my family how old I really am.

On Saturday night we celebrated with my immediate family @ my sister's house. She has a wound burning fireplace which is my favorite so I requested that be going!!Since my taste buds have been very sensitive I got to pick the menu - thank you mom for cooking all day, it was amazing!!

poppyseed chicken

hashbrown casserole, sweet potato casserole, & crescent rolls

my card from Laci that she picked our and wrote in.. inside there was some change which she got from her wallet, melted my heart!!

I'm not a big fan of sweets but I will eat a little ice cream cake which is what we had..

On Sunday night we celebrated with Ben's immediate fam @ Johnny Carino's, YUMM!! Sadly, I didn't take any pictures.. I was too busy eating bread with oil!!

It's crazy when you're married or in the real world your presents change from "things" to money!!!

I received some wonderful gifts from all my family, thank you so much!!

Friday, November 5, 2010

trying to stay positive!!

First off, thank you all so much for your kind words!! I know I wrote that last post then kind of left you all hanging.. When I said I was fine with not telling anyone until I couldn't hide it, I was very serious. I think it was my way of feeling in control?? With our last pregnancy I was so open & honest with the world that when things started unraveling I felt like that same world was in the middle of our business. I hope no one takes that the wrong way, we could not of been more loved, prayed for, & taken care of during that time.. I am a very private person, I come by it honestly from my dad. I guess in some way I thought if we kept this to ourselves and something happened, no one would know & maybe it wouldn't hurt as bad?? That statement sounds morbid, like I was/am waiting for something to happen.. I believe that's a normal feeling after losing a child to such a rare disorder. My faith is strong & I believe God has a plan but I am not perfect & I still have days that I question the future. We were told at our last appointment that we were over all the "major" issues.. after Ben heard that he was itching to tell the world (as was my immediate family) Ben reminded me that the more people that knew the more people that could pray for us. I have not downloaded the ultrasound pictures yet, it seems this fatigue & nausea are going to hang around in the second trimester too.. I never really knew what an abnormal ultrasound picture looked like until our 20 week appt with Weslee, but to see the perfectly shaped head and kicking arms & legs is breathtaking!! I feel more @ peace after each and every appointment we have. I think once I start showing more & feel him/her kick it'll get even easier. All in all I've had a pleasant pregnancy thus far. I work full time & am on my feet 95% of the time. A lot of that time I'm in the OR sewing or retracting which takes muscles & maneuvering in random positions. I love love love my job and hope to work until the day I deliver.. I went to the doctor on Thursday and everything looked "perfect" as Dr. M said. I get to go back in a few weeks and he said we may even be able to find out what the sex of the baby is.. Since I'm considered high risk I do have an ultrasound at every appointment which is probably more for my peace of mind than the doctors. I will go see the specialist that delivered Weslee around 20 weeks with a high tech ultrasound machine to check each & every crevice of the baby.

I am one proud mommy!!

If Ben only knew the amount of money we've spent on pregnancy tests :)

I am going to be as open as I feel comfortable being about this pregnancy. Ben and I look forward to each appointment & can't wait to see how much the baby has grown in just a matter of weeks!!