Friday, March 26, 2010

Longing

For some reason the past couple days I've found myself longing to hold Weslee... I can't explain why these thoughts are so vivid right now?? Most days I do great, I find myself thinking of our daughter being in Heaven surrounded by perfection!! That's most days.. I still have the ones like today that my heart literally aches.. I want her here with us, experiencing how much her family loves her!! I want to hold her, sing to her, rock her, I want, I want, I want... I could go on forever!! I now more than ever wonder what our future holds. I do not question God's will but I do wonder the ups and downs to come.. I never imagined the road we traveled and continue to travel daily. I do not want to miss anything from this experience. I want to be a better person & possibly help others who go through similar situations. My emotions are all over the place and have been for a few days.. I read blogs of friends who are pregnant, struggle with infertility, have lost a child, have a sick family member.. By doing this it's probably like watching a lifetime movie I realize!! I can relate to each blog in some way... pregnancy, I long for; infertility, we struggled with; lost a child, we did; family member who's sick, that's us too!! (I'm not writing for sympathy, I write as an outlet of my emotions) Saying all that, I do find something in my everyday life that makes me smile, makes me so glad to be me!! I am surrounded by family & friends that would do anything for me.. I have an amazing job & work with so many different people!! My husband is literally my best friend, & my dog thinks I'm the best thing in the world!!

Where is this post going?? Great question..

Just know that whatever you're dealing with in life, you're not alone!! I consider myself very fortunate, I may have gone through one of the hardest trials of my life but I know where I'll end up when this runs over.

Mommy.

2 comments:

The Schramkos! said...

You are right.. you ARE never alone. I have never felt the pain of losing a child and could not imagine what you and Ben face everyday. Just know that I love you no matter what and you were there for me when I was the saddest in my life and I thought that would never go away! I think sometimes what God "takes" away from us whether it be a person or a thing, he gives it back to us more than we can even imagine. I know he would do that for one of his beloved children such as you!

The Wilson's said...

Sarah,
you are still in my thoughts and prayers... I cannot imagine what you and Ben and your family are going through. You are my hero for just getting out of bed each day. I am sure you will have lot's of days like this ahead of you, know that you are loved and supported!