Monday, January 11, 2010

the BIG question

I've received so many wonderful comments about Weslee since posting the latest pictures!! One of the ones I've heard through the grapevine is, "she looks so real.." I guess I never thought people would think anything other than she would look real?? Anencephaly is so rare that not many people know what to expect.. I was one of those people who googled it the day after we found out. I told Ben the pictures of the other babies looked like tree frogs. (I can say that because I've had an anencephalic baby) Weslee did not look like those pictures... like I said in the last post, she was perfect in every way other than the back of her head. She looked like a perfect baby, just a tiny version... I'm still in awe of how a 20 week gestation baby looks; how Weslee looked!!

Lately I've been asked quite a bit, "are you going to try again, when are you going to have another baby, etc." The answer to that is..... medically I have to wait a certain period of time. Once that time is up we will let nature take its course. We've learned that it's out of our hands and whatever happens happens... we're @ peace with that!!

If you have any specific questions about our situation, how we're dealing, what the future holds, how Avery's doing : ) please feel free to ask.... I am one that likes to ask lot's of questions, my mom calls it nosey, I call it observant!! Obviously, I love talking about our daughter and am proud to share her story!!

I was inspired by your comments and chose a few more pictures to share with you all... the first one is a poem the nurses had with her box of clothes, beanie baby, blankets, & jewelry. The second is the hat she wore after she was born. You can see the size difference in my sisters hand and the actual hat. The final picture is one of my favorites. Weslee was created in love, she has her mommy & daddy's wedding rings on her legs. Look @ those toes, aren't they sweet!!







10 comments:

Lilly, Matt, and Sara said...

That last picture is breath taking!

Melissa Moss said...

I just came across your blog yesterday and spent the day reading through all of your entries. Your story just breaks my heart. I know some of what you are going through and so I know how hard it is just to get though the day without your little girl. In 2004 I was expecting my 4th child. During the routine 20 week ultrasound it was discovered that she had a serious heart condition and an unknown chromosome disorder. We were told that she most likely would not make it through the pregnancy and if she did then she would surely pass away shortly after birth. We chose to continue the pregnancy and left it in God's hands. My daughter Emma Noelle was born on December 1, 2004. Due to her issues she was only 5 lbs 8oz even though she was full term. She surprised all of the doctor's by breathing on her own and not needing any assistance. She was taken to the NICU and at that time it was determined that she had Hypo-plastic Left Heart Syndrome and a very rare condition known as MIDAS syndrome. The doctor's at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore,MD refused to do the surgery on her heart that would save her life because of the MIDAS syndrome. So with no other option we brought her to my room and spent her last days together as a family. She passed away in my arms on December 5, 2004. Even though I only got 4 days with her I wouldn't have changed anything. I got to hold her, sing to her, nurse her and do all the things a mother loves to do with her child. It was the hardest thing I ever did when I had to hand her over to the nurse and we had to leave the hospital without her but I feel truly blessed for the time that I was given with my little girl. I am so sorry that you did not have more time with your little girl. I know how much you must be hurting right now and that you never imagined that this would be something that you would have to deal with in your life. I wish that I could tell you that with time it gets easier but in my case somedays it feel as though it just happened yesterday. I do have new hope in my life now though. I have had a completely healthy child who is about to turn 4 in February. He is the light of our lives and we truly believe that Emma sent him to us to help heal our broken hearts. Thank you for sharing your story. Although I would never wish anyone to join this "club" that we are a part of it helps to know that I am not alone and that there is someone else out there that knows what I am going through. If you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to e-mail me. I know that after I lost my daughter talking to others who have been through the same thing really helped me. I pray that you will be given some peace in your heart and mind and that God would bring you a new blessing when the time is right. May God Bless you and your family.

Melissa Moss
melissamoss79@live.com

Jeremiah & Lindsey Kindy said...

Thanks for sharing little Weslee with all of us! I love the last picture of those sweet baby feet! We love you and Ben both!!

The Lane Family said...

To say these are priceless is a huge understatement! Thank you letting us be a part of this journey with you in a small way. Your willingness to share the pictures is so selfless. Still praying...

jenn said...

how beautiful..thanks for sharing your pictures and story

Emma and Company said...

Thank you so much for sharing those pictures. They are so beautiful. The last picture just takes your breath away.

Jennifer said...

I don't think I have ever seen a picture as precious as the last one.

The Dorns said...

omg stop it with the cutness. Those precious tiny lil toes of hers with the itty bittiest toe nails are so precious. I love baby feet! So glad you captured your rings on her ankles. Thanks for sharing them. Every mommy has to show off her baby and you are such a proud mommy.

Since you said we could be nosy. I dont know a whole lot about anecepholy (sp) I was curious Do they know what causes it or is just a chromosone issue? Are you future children at risk of having the same thing?

You will always be a mommy to her but I know God has special plans for such a wonderful mommy I can just feel it. Praying for a blessed future.

riajanney said...

Your pictures are priceless; thank you for sharing your heart with us. i am especially moved that your family was able to be there to share in this with you. Did they decide to deliver you suddenly, or were you given time to prepare?

The Schramkos! said...

I love those little feet and thank you for sharing them with us. I cant wait to meet Weslee one day in Heaven. Hopefully she will be one of my "greeters" I say. I was looking at her toes and it is so amazing at the age of gestation she has her mamas feet! We love you and Ben so much and have been so blessed you shared Weslees pictures with us.